Remember When?
by WitBeyondMeasure9
Summary: A collection of oneshots about Lily Evans, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew when they were at Hogwarts.
1. Chocolate Chip Cookies

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Summary: Someone stole James' chocolate chip cookies. Who could it be? Only Lily could solve the mystery…

Disclaimer: Only the chocolate chip cookies are mine. The rest are just a figment of J.K. Rowling's imagination….

James walked into the common room, where he had left the enormous pile of chocolate cookies he had nicked from the kitchens. He hadn't been afraid to leave them unattended when he went back to get a big glass of milk because the only Gryffindors left at Hogwarts were himself, Lily, Sirius, and Remus, and the others were all out having a snowball fight.

He walked towards the parchment-littered table, and gasped. The chocolate-chip cookies were gone! What was more, the wet splotches all over the common room floor told him that the remaining Marauders and Lily had returned. One of them had to have taken the cookies! Well, not Lily. She was too trustworthy, in James' opinion.

James racked his brain. The Marauder with the biggest appetite, besides himself, of course, was Sirius. James stomped up the staircase to his dormitory, enjoying the way his footsteps echoed throughout the whole tower.

He flung open the door, roaring, "PADFOOT!" Sirius jerked up, looking around. "James! You almost gave me a heart attack, you bloody idiot!"

James growled menacingly, saying, "You stole my cookies! My lovely, sweet, chocolatey chocolate chip cookies!"

"James!" said Sirius warily. "I was the last one in from the snowball fight, seeing as I just had to snog every snow woman I saw. I couldn't help myself, mate! They're so cold, and unloving, but I wanna make them love me!"

James cleared his throat pointedly, while the corners of Remus' mouth twitched, and Sirius hurriedly continued his story.

"Anyway, when I returned, the floor was already stained from all of the plodding boots and whatnot from our snowball fight, and I saw an empty plate of cookies."

"Mmm-hmm…" murmured James, his brain working furiously.

"I was really mad at you because I assumed you'd eaten them all and you know how much I love chocolate chip cookies."

"So if you didn't steal the cookies…" James said, and his face grew angry. "MOONY did!"

He lunged to the next bed and tackled Remus. "Ah! James! James, stop!"

James reluctantly got off of Remus and said menacingly, "This better be good, Remus. Really, really good."

"I don't understand it myself, James," said Remus, clearly glad that James had stopped suffocating him. "When Lily and I came in, we hung our things by the fire and headed towards the stairs. We saw your giant pile of cookies and Lily said, 'Oh, James and Sirius will have a field day,' and I laughed, and then we went upstairs to change."

James' eye twitched, and he suddenly began to scream at his fellow marauders, "THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE, YOU OAFS! A HUGE PILE OF CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES DOES NOT JUST DISAPPEAR LIKE THAT! ONE OF YOU ATE THEM! TELL ME, OR I'LL…"

"Or you'll what, James?" came a female voice from the door. James frantically rumpled his hair, and Sirius gave him a small thumbs up. "Oh," said James in what was clearly intended to be a suave voice, but sounded eerily creepy, "It's you."

The corners of Lily's mouth twitched as she said, "Yes, James, of course it's me. Who else would it be?"

"Er.. erm…" muttered James, his mind racing frantically.

"Anyways," said Lily, pretending he had said nothing, "What were you shouting about? One poor portrait outside is gibbering about how you're a madman or something like that."

"Oh. I was yelling because Remus or Sirius obviously stole my chocolate chip cookies and they won't admit it. It's, erm, a tactic used in the, er, the military."

"I see," said Lily. "Well, boys, tell me everything you know." She pulled James' quill out from under his bed, Sirius' ink from behind his pillow, Remus' parchment from his neat stack on the bedside table, and poised herself, quill at the ready. "You first, James."

"Oh, erm, well, I went down to the kitchens when you lot were having a snowball fight. I tickled the pear on that picture, you know, of the fruit on the…"

"James," said Lily warningly. "Continue…"

"Okay, well, I asked the house-elves for some chocolate chip cookies. All of a sudden, this huge platter heaped about a foot high comes whizzing towards me. I wave my wand so it flies to the common room. I walk all the way up here, and I'm all set to eat it when I realize I forgot to get some milk. Everyone knows you can't eat chocolate chip cookies without milk. So I walk all the way back down to the kitchens and get a big jug of milk. I come back up here, and the cookies are gone! But all of your," James pointed to Sirius, Remus, and Lily, "Stuff is lying heaped and draped over everything, so I know you all have come back. So I fling down the jug of milk, go upstairs and accuse Sirius, and he says, 'No way, Prongs, they were gone when I got here because I have to kiss all the snow women in sight because I am such a prat.' So I interrogate Remus, and he says he saw them and went upstairs and cookies can't walk away by themselves, so that's impossible, so I started yelling and then you came in and now I'm telling you this."

By this point, Sirius was snoring loudly, Remus' head was propped in his hand and his eyelids were drooping, and Lily was taking notes.

"Did you get all that?" James asked. Lily kept writing, and the scratching of the quill was the only sound in the room. James then noticed that Sirius and Remus were sleeping. "PADFOOT! MOONY!" he roared. Lily jumped and left a huge ink blot on the parchment, Remus started and sat up rather quickly, and Sirius gave a huge jolt and rolled off his bed.

James smiled brightly and asked Lily again, "Did you get everything?"

"Yeah, I think so," she said, scanning her notes.

James then said, "Do you want me to repeat it? You know, to make sure you didn't miss anything?"

"NO!" his audience roared.

"Fine!" He flopped on his bed with a scowl on his face.

"Okay, Sirius?" Lily asked tentatively.

Sirius rose and opened his mouth. "We had a snowball fight. I won. Remus and Lily went in to dry off because they are boring. I stayed out and snogged the face off of every snow woman out there." Seeing Lily's incredulous gaze, he protested, "No, really! Their faces melted!"

Lily shook her head in exasperation. "Anyways," continued Sirius. "I came in, and I saw a huge platter that had crumbs and the random chocolate chip on it. I was jealous, because I thought you all ate them without me. I saw that Remus and Lily had come back so I went upstairs and started giving Remus the silent treatment. Then I heard pounding on the stairs, and James stomped in and accused me of eating all the cookies. When I told him what really happened, he accused Remus and then started shouting at us, and, well, you know the rest," he broke off sheepishly.

"Thank you, Sirius," said Lily. "Glad you didn't bore me to death."

"You're welcome," said Sirius gallantly, and he sat back down on his bed.

"Remus? You're next."

"Oh, right." Remus rose and brushed off his robes. "We had a snowball fight. When Sirius won, Lily and I went inside to change robes. I saw a pile of chocolate chip cookies on a platter, and Lily commented, 'Sirius and James are going to have a field day.' I laughed because it was true, and went upstairs. I opened my trunk and got out fresh robes, put them on, and started reading a volume of the encyclopedia. Then Sirius came galumphing in and wouldn't talk to me. James stomped up the stairs and came in, accusing Sirius of eating the chocolate chip cookies I'd seen ten minutes before. Then James tackled me and accused me of eating them. Once I'd finally convinced him that I didn't eat them, he realized that the cookies had disappeared. So he began taking his rage out on us, and then you came in."

"Okay." Lily scratched out a word, rewrote it, then said, "I am going to investigate the scene of the crime."

Lily walked down to the common room, and looked at the cookies. The first thing she noticed is that the jug of milk had also vanished. "Hmm," she muttered to herself. She also noticed crumbs and sloshes of milk leading in the same direction. She followed the crumbs out the portrait hole and down the hall until she almost walked into a broom cupboard. She pressed her ear to the door and listened to the sound of munching and slurping. She quickly used a nonverbal spell to seal the door and then kicked it. She heard a loud SQUEE and smiled to herself.

She raced back to the portrait hole, shouted, "Dugbogs and pennywhistles" at the fat lady, and raced through the portrait hole. As she ran up the stairs, she shouted, "I know who the culprit is!"

James and Sirius came barreling out of the dormitory and knocked Lily down. Remus, who was walking normally behind them, helped her up.

"Who is it, Lily? Who ate my cookies?" James asked, worry in his eyes. "They didn't eat all of them, did they?"

"Of course not, Potter, just shut up!" Lily snapped. "Now, listen."

James and Sirius sat down on the floor like it was story time and looked eagerly up at Lilly. Remus rolled his eyes and gave Lily his full attention.

"After I gathered all your testimonies, I came down here. The first thing I noticed was that the jug of milk was gone," she said, gesturing at the nearly empty table, "and James said he put the milk down before he went to interrogate you guys. That means the thief came in here two times, both when he knew no one was in here.

"The second thing I noticed is that there were sloshes of milk and cookie crumbs leading out the portrait hole, down the hall, and to the broom closet."

Lily led the way out of the portrait hole, and the Marauders followed eagerly.

Lily stopped outside the broom cupboard she had magically sealed earlier.

"I heard the thief in here, so I locked it. When I kicked the door, I heard a loud noise. Like this."

She kicked the door, and was rewarded with another loud SQUEE.

"I then knew that the culprit was…. Alohomora!"

The door flew open to reveal…

"Peter!" yelled James. "I thought you went home?"

"I missed the train," the rat-like boy said miserably.

"Of course," said Remus. "Peter knew James was going to get chocolate cookies, and he has the Marauder's Map. So he watched for James to bring them and then waited until the common room was empty. He stole the cookies, and saw Sirius come up. Then James came up carrying the milk and he watched James go upstairs. He stole the milk, and then Lily caught him."

"You're brilliant, Lils!" cried James, grabbing her up in a hug.

"James…"

"Yes, Lily?"

"I can't breathe."

"Sorry," James said, hastily releasing her.

"Now, for Peter's punishment…"

-.-.-.-.-.-

"Guys, guys, is this necessary?" squealed Peter.

"Of course it is," said Sirius with a grin.

"You guys, he could get frostbite," said Remus with a grin.

"Shut up, Moony," growled James. "Wormtail is getting everything he deserves."

"Uh, guys, not that it isn't fun to be buried in the snow while naked or anything, but…" moaned Peter.

"Oh, shut up," said Sirius. He conjured up a jar of peanut butter and forced its contents into Peter's mouth.

Peter glared balefully up at them, unable to speak because his jaws were stuck together.

The three unburied marauders and Lily walked back to the common room, and watched from the warmth as Peter ran around naked, trying to escape Hagrid's new giant puppy, who he had christened Fang.


	2. Spoons

**Spoons**

**Summary: James is bored, so Lily teaches him the muggle game called Spoons.**

**Disclaimer: All characters are JK Rowling's.**

James was bored. Again.

And because of this, he chose to express his boredom in interesting ways.

Such as jumping all over first years.

And pretending to be a puppy.

And putting a charm on the roaring fire in the common room, causing it to fly around the room and singe off the eyebrows of unsuspecting Gryffindors.

And…

Before James could complete a half-mad idea, involving an umbrella and his father's nose hair clippers, Sirius dragged James up the stairs to his dormitory.

"Now stay there," Sirius said, attempting not to laugh at James pretending to be a jellyfish. "I'll get Lily."

At the mention of Lily's name, James attempted to pull himself together. He slicked back his hair and laid in what he clearly saw as a sexy manner on his bed. Sirius shook his head, and decided he probably should actually find Lily.

Lily, upon hearing Sirius' dilemma, suggested that Sirius bring James down. "On second thought," she said, thinking quickly, "I'll just come up there."

"Um… okay?" said Sirius, clearly confused.

"I am losing my patience with you, Black!" Lily growled. "Just keep James from jumping out the window!"

Sirius imagined what James could be doing at that moment and quickly sprinted up the stairs.

Lily found a pack of muggle playing cards and a pile of plastic spoons. "Perfect," she whispered gleefully.

James was still attempting to be sexy when Lily walked in. He then decided to be a cat and wound around Lily's legs, purring.

Disgusted, Lily wrenched her leg from James and slapped him on the head. Then, she heard laughter behind her.

Remus and Peter had made their way up the stairs and were laughing at James' latest antics. James, spurred by their approval, began to inch on the floor like a caterpillar.

"Okay, everybody stop!" Lily yelled. "Now I'm going to teach you how to play a muggle game, so just sit and be quiet!"

James immediately crossed his legs and sat on the floor, gazing up at Lily. Remus, Peter, and Sirius joined him, though less enthusiastically.

"Now, here's how the game works…"

Lily dealt four cards to everyone, and set four spoons in the middle.

"All you have to do is draw a card from the middle on your turn, and discard another one so you always have four cards in your hand. You want to get four of a kind, and when you do, grab a spoon from the middle… subtly. There are four spoons and five of us, so whoever doesn't get a spoon loses. It's really quite simple... Ready to try?"

The boys nodded in agreement and began to play.

After playing several rounds, Lily cried, "I think you have the hang of it. Now, since James looks bored, we'll up the stakes a bit."

"Are we going to switch games?" Peter whined. "I'm confused as it is!"

"No," Lily said, frowning at him. "Whoever loses has to drink a cup of water. Whoever goes to the bathroom first loses."

James giggled, Sirius guffawed, Remus merely smiled, and Peter looked nervous.

Lily dealt again, and they instantly settled into a state of intense concentration. Peter was, surprisingly, the first one to grab a spoon. Lily, Remus, and James followed, leaving Sirius without a spoon. Lily picked up a piece of parchment, wrote Sirius' name, and made a mark next to it, to keep track of who had lost. Then, James conjured a pitcher of water and five cups, filling one cup to the brim and handing it to Sirius.

After an hour, the score stood: Lily- 5, James-11, Remus- 2, Sirius-13, Peter-16. Clearly, Peter had been forced to drink the most water, as he was rocking back and forth while holding his cards. James was bouncing his leg slightly, and Sirius was tapping his foot impatiently.

Lily dealt once again, and they all picked up their cards. Lily almost instantly reached out to grab a spoon. Remus casually picked one up. James, Sirius, and Peter remained oblivious until James flung out a hand, grabbing a spoon. Sirius followed suit, leaving Peter to drink a glass of water. Lily poured the water from the pitcher slooooooowly, letting it drip into the glass. Peter's mouth twitched, and he began to rock faster. Lily handed him the glass with a smile. Peter slowly lifted the glass to his mouth, and began to sip it. Suddenly, he screamed, threw the glass, and raced for the bathroom.

Lily began to giggle uncontrollably as Peter screamed, "Help! My pants are stuck!" They all ignored Peter's desperate plea and played again. Their concentration was broken only by Peter calling from the bathroom, "Can I have a new pair of pants please?" Remus rolled his eyes and found Peter a clean pair of jeans. Sirius was the next to flee for the bathroom, followed closely by James.

It was between Lily and Remus. They played intensely until the score stood; Lily-20, Remus-20. They were tied. Remus was tapping his foot nervously on the floor and biting his lip, while Lily kept a serene expression on her face. Lily picked up a seven of clubs from the pile in the middle, and discarded a two of diamonds, leaving her with four sevens in her hand. She casually reached for a spoon, leaving Remus without one. She reached for the pitcher with an impish grin, and Remus' foot twitched faster. He bolted for the bathroom, and Lily squealed with delight.

Remus returned from the bathroom, allowing Lily to finally use it. When she finished, they all talked about the game.

"Did you see Peter's face?" Sirius asked, sniggering. "Although you held on longer than James thought you would."

Peter scowled at James, but then his expression turned to horror. James had vanished, leaving a bit of parchment with "I'm bored again" written on it.


	3. Barbie and Ken

**Barbies**

**Summary:** James and Sirius discover their perfect woman.

**Disclaimer:** Everything is JK Rowling's loverly work. Except for Aunt Sarah and Uncle Jeremy. They just sort of waltzed in and plunked down, and I had to rewrite the whole story around them.

Lily sleepily rubbed her eyes as she sat down to breakfast next to James and Sirius, who looked equally as tired as she felt. Remus was in the hospital wing; the full moon had been yesterday, and Peter was in detention, having been caught trying to drop Dungbombs in McGonagall's office while she was in there.

"Peter's been gone an ah-ah-awfully long time," James yawned. "McGonagall must be angrier than usual."

Lily made to nod in agreement, but stopped as she saw an owl swooping toward her carrying a brightly colored parcel. She began to bounce excitedly in her seat.

"What on earth are you doing, Lily?" Sirius snickered at Lily's undignified behavior.

"I was up so late studying for exams, I completely forgot!" she giggled. James and Sirius kept staring at her, so she treated them to her best frustrated glare. "It's my birthday today…"

James, who was in the middle of another yawn, promptly fell backwards off his seat. "That's… that's _today_?" He flinched as Lily kicked him, sending him flying across the floor to hit the wall.

"Ouch," Sirius commented indifferently, though casually scooting away. Lily glared again, but turned back to the owl, who had landed on the table in front of her.

"At least my parents remembered," she said nonchalantly, although her words caused James and Sirius to flinch again. She tore open the wrapping paper to find a big, pink box containing a plastic doll with giant breasts, a tiny waist, and an expression rivaling many runway models.

"A Barbie!" cried Lily. "These are all the rage in the United States! My parents must have bought one when they went on their trip to…" She stopped short, staring at James and Sirius, who were both drooling and transfixed with the doll. Disgusted, she handed them the box.

The boys began to feverishly tear at the cardboard, releasing their perfect woman from her bright pink dungeon.

"Look at her mini-skirt," whispered James in awe.

Sirius reached out and gently fingered the Barbie's waist-length, wavy, bouncy, perfect, bleached-blond hair. "She's beautiful," he said, a tear of joy dripping down his face.

"Oh, honestly," Lily grumbled. She gathered up her things and moved to the other end of the table, flicking her red hair over her shoulder.

James and Sirius continued to stare, transfixed, at the Barbie.

A very late first-year joined their table. "Why do you have a Barbie?" he asked in disgust.

The older boys did not answer. "You know," said the younger boy, following the boy's gaze, "You can take their clothes off."

His last sentence echoed in James's and Sirius's minds, until it was all they could do to stand up and rush from the Great Hall to their dormitory in a record-breaking 46 seconds.

Once in the dormitory, James and Sirius frantically hunted for the way to take their precious woman's clothing off. Sirius finally said, "James? What's this?"

James grinned. "It's Velcro, mate. Remember, Lily has some to hold her bookbag closed?"

"And she pulls it apart to open it…" Sirius said knowledgeably.

The boys began tearing at the Velcro, until the Barbie was devoid of clothing. They were staring at her perfect body, not moving, until the door opened a crack. They quickly sat on the Barbie and her clothes as Remus came in, looking pale and ragged, with a fresh scratch on his arm.

"What are you doing?" His voice was soft and accusing. Reluctantly, the boys moved. It was too hard to aggravate Remus after the full moon; he was too worn out to be annoyed.

Remus stared, then laid down on his bed, pulling the hangings around him. "You guys are sick," he whispered, already on the verge of sleep.

James and Sirius tiptoed downstairs until they reached the common room. Lily saw them and immediately realized what was going on.

"Give me my birthday present back," she hissed. "You're sick and twisted, and the poor doll must be terrified out of her wits." She let a small smile grace the corners of her mouth; she had thought, for a moment, that the doll had feelings. Ah, well.

James recoiled, then raced to a corner and huddled down, shielding the doll from Lily with his body. Everyone in the common room stared interestedly at James's behavior.

Lily sighed and rolled up her sleeves. "Expelliarmus," she said, lazily flicking her wand. The doll soared out of James's grasp and landed in her hand. She then turned to Sirius. Rather than have them forcibly removed from his grip, Sirius handed over the Barbie's clothes reluctantly. Lilly rolled her eyes and began putting the clothes back on the Barbie.

James stalked angrily up to his dormitory. Sirius followed, sticking his tongue out at Lily's back.

When they had both reached the dormitory, James whispered, "Next Hogsmeade visit, we Apparate to a Muggle store and buy two Barbies." Sirius nodded in agreement.

It had been two weeks since Lily's birthday. She had clearly put a Disillusionment Charm on the Barbie, because no matter how hard Sirius and James tried, they could not find her Barbie anywhere. But it didn't matter now, because it was the day of their long-awaited Hogsmeade visit.

In their dormitory, James and Sirius were going over last-minute details of their glorious plan.

"Remember to conveniently slip Muggle money into the… the…. money thing, when we leave," said James to Sirius. "We don't want to rob the Muggles."

"Aww," moaned Sirius. At James's disbelieving stare, he said, "I've always fancied myself as a robber." James rolled his eyes.

They went down to grab breakfast, so to be as inconspicuous as possible. They stopped short when they saw Lily had another package.

"Maybe it's another Barbie," whispered James, drooling.

Lily opened the accompanying letter. "Dear Lily," she read out loud. "We couldn't find a _normal_ post office anywhere, so we had to wait until we got back and could use Maiadra again (Jeremy wouldn't let me take her- he's so oldfashioned when it comes to interacting with Muggles). So, here is a late birthday present. It should go nicely with your parents' gift to you. Love, Aunt Sarah and Uncle Jeremy."

She ripped open the package to discover…

"What in the name of Merlin's mother is that?" yelled James.

"Oh," cooed Lily, "Isn't he sweet? It's a Ken doll."

A dozen Gryffindor girls appeared and started begging Lily to take his shirt off. "I wonder if he has a six-pack," whispered one eagerly.

Lily pulled the Velcro apart, and the girls all ooh-ed and ah-ed at the Ken's unrealistically perfect body.

"Ok, Padfoot, listen and listen good," whispered James. "Operation Steal Barbie has been cancelled. Our new mission: Operation Annihilate Ken."

The two jealous, Barbie-crazed boys tiptoed into Lily's room during the Hogsmeade visit.

"Don't you think Peter will be mad because we're not going?" whispered Sirius.

"You're so daft, Padfoot."

They crept to Lily's trunk and opened it. There was Ken, grinning cheesily up at them.

They grabbed the Ken and snuck merrily away with him. They took him to their room, and took it in turns to blast various hexes and curses at him until he exploded.

Lily returned from Hogsmeade with a sinking feeling. She knew James and Sirius had probably gone, but she hadn't seen them.

She got to her dormitory and opened her trunk. Ken was gone.

At first she was angry, but then she smiled. She had a plan.

She pulled Barbie out from underneath one of her roommate's pillows and skipped to the common room.

As always, whenever seen with a doll, she acquired some odd stares. But now these stares, from the boys, at least, were mixed with envy. They were envious that Lily had managed to get a Barbie and they hadn't.

Lily casually walked over to the fire and dropped the Barbie in. A collective gasp went around the common room, but Lily ignored them all. She focused on the dormitory staircase, praying she had timed it right. Soon, James and Sirius came skipping merrily down the stairs, but they stopped at the smell of burning Barbie.

The boys glanced at the fire, and saw their worst nightmare. The Barbie's hair, clothes, even her perfectly proportioned body, had gone completely lopsided.

James lunged for Lily. "Damn you, you bloody conniving scheming evil witch!"

Lily languidly put a Full-Body Bind on James and left him, flicking her hair as she marched off.

Sirius knelt down by James. "Tough luck, mate," he said, thoroughly enjoying the sight of his best friend stuck on the ground.


End file.
